New and Improved Edited Script

Sahar as our script writer finally drafted the script for our groups film and sent it to us. I had the role of Script editor and edited to improve it, so here it is....

DEADLY ENVY

CAST:
Mr. Parker as JOE Watson

Jackki Elliot as SARAH Daniels and CAPTOR

______________ as CLARA Watson

Sahar Badruddin as ALICE Watson



INT. OFFICE
(Very gentle background music – Piano solo)

The scene starts in Detective JOE WATSON’s and SARAH’s DANIELS’ office down at the police station. There are two desks side by side and computer on each. There is a swivel chair tucked under SARAH’s desk which is neat and tidy with only a few papers out of place, SARAH’s desk has feminine item to indicate the other desk is a females possibly a pink pencil case or pencil/pen. JOE’s desk is fairly tidy with a few papers out of place and some possibly post-it notes on the bottom of his screen. Next to JOE’s computer monitor there is a school photo of his daughter Clara, which the viewer will possibly see.

JOE Watson is sitting at his desk with his hand on the mouse, staring intently at the computer screen.



EXT. DARK ALLEY/ INT. DARK ROOM

(no music)

Dark room/alley/area is fairly empty and spacious, across the room/space in the centre CLARA is sat down on the floor in clear view with her arms and feet tied together. ALICE WATSON is also tied up by her hands and feet, sat in a dark corner in the shadows, she has also been gaged.

The CAPTOR walks slowly towards CLARA who is struggling against her bindings. The audience see ALICE bound and gagged, in horror fearing for her daughter. CAPTOR comes to a halt before CLARA, and we see the knife she has in her hand. The CAPTOR then slowly bends before CLARA bringing herself to a point just above the CLARA’s head.

The knife hand extends, towards CLARA while she looks desperate and whimpers.

CLARA: Please. Don’t. Please.

(We can hear ALICE whimpering through her gag in the background)

It seems like CLARA knows the CAPTOR, or recognizes them. She silently begs for mercy. The CAPTOR places knife gently to CLARA’s cheek.

BLACKOUT



INT. OFFICE

(no music)

JOE is in tears still fixedly watching the screen in disbelief. SARAH’s hands slip over his shoulders in attempt to reassure him. Stood behind him she looks anxiously at the computer screen and then sympathetically back down at JOE.

SARAH: Joe…

JOE shoves the chair back, now extremely angry and pushes SARAH away. He storms out of the room. SARAH stricken with concern watches him leave and the door slams shut.

Gradual BLACKOUT